sacred pasture

-CLUELESS-



MY OWN SURVEY QUESTIONS


HOW DID YOUR DAY WENT?
- Close to being sensible but not quite

HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW?
- I cant grasp it.

WHO'S THE LAST PERSON YOU'RE WITH?
- Stranger on the bus.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE TALKING TO A FRIEND RIGHT NOW?
- Si deng. Maiintindihan niya ako.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
- Last night.

WHY?
- Missing someone so bad. Confused with everything.

ARE YOU A STRONG PERSON?
- I think so. Kung base sa mga pinagdadaanan ko. OO. Strong nga ako.

WHAT KEEPS YOU HOLDING ON?
- The fear of letting go.

WHEN DO YOU GIVE UP A FIGHT?
- The fighting goes on until i have finally moved on.

WHAT SCARES YOU AT THE MOMENT?
- Bumitaw.

ARE YOU WAITING FOR A CALL/TEXT?
- Yeah. From mark. Haven't heard anything from him in a very long time.

WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO TELL YOU?
- The thing that i would surely refuse to believe/accept.

WHAT'S THE WORST FEELING ON EARTH?
- Ang nakabitin. I dont know what I am supposed to feel.

IF YOU COULD TALK TO GOD IN PERSON, WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HIM?
- May Your purpose be served.

ANY EPIPHANOUS MOMENT THIS DAY?
- Kaninang hapon sa bus. I've realized that priorities should be flexible. I should learn how to shift them. Cause there would be times that the #3 would need more attention than #1.

WHAT'S YOUR COMFORT ZONE?
- A quiet and lone time to think.

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH DECISIONS THAT YOU'VE MADE SO FAR?
- Haven't reached the end of the race yet so i can't tell.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
- When my emotions are too strong that i could not rationalize it.

ARE YOU A CRY BABY?
- No.

BEST THING ABOUT BEING YOU?
- Strongly holding on.



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Endless wandering. Spare me quiet street to walk on, dancing trees to watch or the sound of waves crashing by the shore. I need to figure out whats wrong. Spare me.

I'm blinded by my feelings. Can't see anything else but a lock down. A place nowhere to run to but hide. I am shattered by a hanging fantasy. Haunted by the dark shadows of an unfinished story. I am not well.

I've been in this place before. The only thing i remember is that I got through it with bruised knees, bleeding wounds and a broken spirit. I fell on the ground so hard. I laid upon the grave of defeated soldiers yet I am still breathing. Motionless and helpless.

Do I see where this is going? Do i know where I am heading to? Then why can't I just stop? Its the fear of letting go. The fear of letting things happen.