-OUR HEARTS ARE MEANT TO FLY-


OUR HEARTS ARE MEANT TO FLY. Many times we'd fall, many times we'd feel like giving up and many times we'd loose hope. Hang in there. You're about to take a high flight. So hight that you'd forget you've ever been hurt and wounded before. OUR HEARTS ARE MEANT TO FLY.

I was in the verge of breaking down. A point in my life where i nearly had given up. And i never admitted that I can't bear the pain, but during those times, I was screaming out loud. The pain is killing me. Its nothing like any pain I've had before. I was helpless and I was broken. Endless wandering on empty streets, escaping to the dark zones of my mind, non-stop puffing of cigarettes yet all i could hear was my heart catching its breath to survive in the jeopardizing agony. But a pinch of light stays in the darkness of everyone's life. And i chose to stay in it, feel its warmth, and look above. I anticipated the full sunrise of that point in my life. I waited there until I was healed. I sat there bleeding until my wounds have scarred. And just when I'm about to climb up to that light. MY HEART TOOK ITS FLIGHT. MY HEART IS MEANT TO FLY.


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A SONG TO SING WHEN YOU'RE FEELING DOWN AND FEELING LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW.

TRAIL OF BROKEN HEARTS

by Dragonforce

Here we are far beyond the distant sky
We've seen all the world and how the story will be over
Through the snow and tainted mountains we have climbed
Now we have found the light that guides us over

Through the fallen rain we travelled far and wide
And through the blackest darkness
Stars above shining bright

Through the sun and winter rain we'll fall
All our lives we have been waiting for a sound to call
We're walking hand in hand in dreams and endless time
How do we know when we will leave this life behind?

Staring life through eyes of mine to hate the fear and the pain
There's a feeling held deep inside - the life you live is in vain

[CHORUS]
Fly away down the lonely roads of yesterday
Close your eyes to see the light of latter days
And all the memory that time can never heal
With the trail of broken hearts flying free

Once again we walk this lonely road
There are times that we are wading through the rain and cold
We're lost in memories of what we left behind
Relive the dreams, the endless screams of pain inside

Lives are filled with emptiness
The fear returned once again
Searching endlessly now we will see
Drown your mind in the pain

CHORUS

The last temptation will be all that's left for me

When I see those tears you cry
When I hear those lies you lie
When I see your creation now for an enemy
Is this the reason to be?

CHORUS

The trail of broken hearts flying free

-CLUELESS-



MY OWN SURVEY QUESTIONS


HOW DID YOUR DAY WENT?
- Close to being sensible but not quite

HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW?
- I cant grasp it.

WHO'S THE LAST PERSON YOU'RE WITH?
- Stranger on the bus.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE TALKING TO A FRIEND RIGHT NOW?
- Si deng. Maiintindihan niya ako.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
- Last night.

WHY?
- Missing someone so bad. Confused with everything.

ARE YOU A STRONG PERSON?
- I think so. Kung base sa mga pinagdadaanan ko. OO. Strong nga ako.

WHAT KEEPS YOU HOLDING ON?
- The fear of letting go.

WHEN DO YOU GIVE UP A FIGHT?
- The fighting goes on until i have finally moved on.

WHAT SCARES YOU AT THE MOMENT?
- Bumitaw.

ARE YOU WAITING FOR A CALL/TEXT?
- Yeah. From mark. Haven't heard anything from him in a very long time.

WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO TELL YOU?
- The thing that i would surely refuse to believe/accept.

WHAT'S THE WORST FEELING ON EARTH?
- Ang nakabitin. I dont know what I am supposed to feel.

IF YOU COULD TALK TO GOD IN PERSON, WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HIM?
- May Your purpose be served.

ANY EPIPHANOUS MOMENT THIS DAY?
- Kaninang hapon sa bus. I've realized that priorities should be flexible. I should learn how to shift them. Cause there would be times that the #3 would need more attention than #1.

WHAT'S YOUR COMFORT ZONE?
- A quiet and lone time to think.

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH DECISIONS THAT YOU'VE MADE SO FAR?
- Haven't reached the end of the race yet so i can't tell.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
- When my emotions are too strong that i could not rationalize it.

ARE YOU A CRY BABY?
- No.

BEST THING ABOUT BEING YOU?
- Strongly holding on.



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Endless wandering. Spare me quiet street to walk on, dancing trees to watch or the sound of waves crashing by the shore. I need to figure out whats wrong. Spare me.

I'm blinded by my feelings. Can't see anything else but a lock down. A place nowhere to run to but hide. I am shattered by a hanging fantasy. Haunted by the dark shadows of an unfinished story. I am not well.

I've been in this place before. The only thing i remember is that I got through it with bruised knees, bleeding wounds and a broken spirit. I fell on the ground so hard. I laid upon the grave of defeated soldiers yet I am still breathing. Motionless and helpless.

Do I see where this is going? Do i know where I am heading to? Then why can't I just stop? Its the fear of letting go. The fear of letting things happen.

-BEYOND CRAZINESS-

i won't loose this grip.
and no i won't let go.
though my wounds are bleeding.
i'll keep holding onto this.

tomorrow seems eternal,
and tears flow like a stormy rainfall.
but i wont loose this grip
and i shall not let go.

i love the sweet taste of this pain.
those lonely nights i sleep with,
the misty mornings that i deal with.
I don't ever wanna let go.

crack my head, and clean my mind.
im crazy over this love i've found.
i won't ever let go,
cause i never know hot to do so.

-PAALAM... SA NGAYON-



SUMILANG ANG UMAGA,
MABIGAT,MALAMIG.

MAY LUMBAY SA PAGMULAT NG MGA MATA.
DINGGIN MAN ANG HUNI NG MGA IBONG UMAAWIT.
AYOKONG MAGSINUNGALING.
KAILANMAN HINDI AKO MANINIWALA.

KAYLUNGKOT NG ISANG PAMAMAALAM.
KAILANMAN DI KO NAPAGARALAN,
KUNG PAANO TANGGAPIN ANG ISANG PAGLISAN.
WALANG MUWANG. ISANG PUWANG ANG MAIIWAN.

DADALOY ANG ARAW.
MULI'T MULI DADANASIN ANG GANITONG PAGLALAKBAY.
AT MULI'T MULI AY MAY LILISAN...
MULI'T MULI MAY PUWANG NA MAIIWAN.

SAPAT NA ANG AKING NATUTUNAN,
HIGIT PA NGA SA AKING INASAHAN.
MARAHIL ITO NA ANG HANGGANAN.
PANIBAGONG KARANASAN NA SA KINABUKASAN.

NAIS KONG MAKASAMA KA.
SA LANDAS NA AKING MAKIKITA.
KUNG HINDI MAN, SA DULO HIHINTAYIN KITA.
KAYLUNGKOT NG ISANG PAMAMAALAM.

ITATAGO KO ANG BAWAT ALAALA MO,
WARI KO'Y MAGKIKITA PA TAYO.
SA ISANG IGLAP, DI KO MAMALAYAN,
SABAY NA TAYONG NAGLALAKBAY.

SISILANG ANG UMAGA.
MAINIT AT PUNO NG SAYA.

- MY HEART AND MY MIND-


Woke up this morning feeling so heavy. I thanked God for the day but as i uttered my prayers tears rolled down. There's something wrong. I feel weak today, vulnerable and ready to break down. Piece by piece i've soul-searched myself regarding this unpleasant feelings and it all comes down to one one thing--- IM DEPRESSED. Pressed with problems, preoccupied with worries and burried in sadness. There it goes... I finally admitted it. I am dead broken.

My heart is so full with sad feelings. So sad that it sucks out my energy for the day. No wonder why I've been acting crazy this past couple of weeks. But my mind is so strong that it could not be stooped from thinking of how and why the heck these things are happening right now.


IF MY HEART AND MIND COULD CONVERSE TO ANOTHER, SURELY THESE WORDS THEY'D TELL EACH OTHER.


DEAR MIND,

"I am heart. For years we've been living together in one man's body. We're actually next door neighbors. You live just above my block. I've always adored you. You are such a strong being. Everyday, you are working so fantastic. In fact you never stop working. I see you working in the lights of the day and even before the breaking of the dawn. You are so strong that i get intimidated by you. Remenber those times where we suffered through great trials? You stood strong amidst those thunders and floods while i cry in the corner and wait for the sun to come. I could not withstand such chaos. But you did. And i am so envious of you that time. You stayed firmed and invincible even after what had happened. Sometimes I wonder... How the hell did you get so strong that weakness is out of your sight? I applaud you for it. I really do.

I AM SORRY. Sorry for me being weak. That you have to work with me. I apologize for giving you so much worries. Sorry, beacuse of my innocence, i get to send you on a bloody arena. You stay up so late figuring out ways to heal me, but all i do is lie retlessly on the ground and wait for your rescue. I'm sorry that i cant help you. I'm sorry that I always make everything worse. You save me everytime and all the time that I've been weak you've been strong. Thank you for giving me reasons. Reasons that even i could not have thought of. I am way more capacitated than you are to withstand every trial but you are way stronger to contain every blow. I see you going home, with bruises and blood. I want to break down but i know you'd pity me for what rights do i have? I'm not the one who go through everything. Thank you. In times where every piece of the emotions gets too overwhelming and i can't seem to handle it myself, you are always there to support me even when you hve not rested enough. I make you suffer because of my weakness. And for that I am sorry. I really am."

YOUR FRIEND,

HEART

DEAR HEART,

"Hush now. And stop mentioning that you are weak because you are not. You are created to signify the sensitive side of every human being. You are supposed to be that way. Sensitive and delicate. That's why you have to be taken care of. And thats my job, to protect you. To shield you from unwanted emotions that i know could jeopardize you and the man we're living in. I work so hard not only to protect you but also to give you space. You won't be comfortable working in a cluttered space. Because you are meant to be free. Free to feel everything that you want to feel. Free to be who you want to be. You are so fragile that i should take my eyes ofo of you. I am here filter everything thats you've felt before the man who shelters us do his actions. Because his actions are the manifestations of how well i've worked. However, sometimes, it doesn't go so well.

I AM SORRY. I dont't feel like I am doing the greatest job on earth. I make you suffer more and the man we're living in as well. When a man has done his actions, an opposite actions comes after it, and when it does, I see you cry. And it hurts me more. You are suffering because of me. You are absorbing everything that I have thrown out. So stop saying that you make me suffer because you certainly don't. I should be the one apologizing because of what I'm doing to you. The bruises i get is less painful than your scratches. Evrytime I make the wrong decisions, you cry and you suffer which you are not supposed to. You should be happy, and i feel awful for depriving you for being one because of my poor work. I am sorry heart. But thank you, because you never leave by my side. Though you refuse to put up a fight, i still see a strong spirit in you that I don't have. I see a soft way of yours, anticipating victory during battles. And you are beautiful that way. That gives me strength to do better. Inspires be to think wiser. I hate seeing you cry. I just want you to know that. I could not be happier that we are here together. We are a perfect balance. I wouldn't to have any other teammate. You are meant to be this way, and so am i. Otherwise, we this man that we're living in right now... have given up all hid fights. Cheer up, no matter how imperfect we are, we still give him the right reasons to move forward, and thats a sign that we're not doing the worst job after all.

YOUR FRIEND,

MIND

-ONE LONELY QUIET NIGHT-


IT WAS A MOONLIGHT EVENING,
WHERE SHADOWS FLARE UPON THE STREETS.
THE SILVER SKIES...
GLIMMER WITH THE SANDS ON THE GROUND.
THE COLDNESS OF THE WIND....
OPPOSES THE HEART THAT BURNS WITH DESIRE.


THE LONELY POEM AWAITS,
AS THE HANDS OF THE WRITER GRIEF.
WITH SADNESS AND DESPAIR,
HE LIFTED HIS PEN AND SEEK FOR THE WORDS.
BIT BY BIT HE SOUGHT.
AND BIT BY BIT HE CRIED.


THE PICTURES OF YESTERDAY,
THAT HE RECOLLECTED,
AND THE ART OF TOMORROW
THAT HE HAD PAINTED,
ALL SEEMED JOYOUS IN A GLANCE.
THE GREEN MEADOWS AND THE SUN,
THE CHANTS OF THE BIRDS THAT FLY,
THAT SERENADES THE BLISS.


BUT AS HE LOOKED ABOVE,
ALL HE IS THE DARKNESS.
THE EMPTY SPACE THAT ALLEVIATES HIS JOYS,
THOSE EMPTY SPACE THAT FILLS HIS HEART.


MORNING WILL COME SOON,
AND THE SUN WILL BREAK SOONER.
HE CLOSED HIS EYES
LAID UPON WITH TEARS.
HE PRAYED FOR THAT DAY
THAT THE SUN WOULD SHINE
AND HE'D BE SMILING ABOVE
THAT LONELY QUIET NIGHT.